We had just finished the two party sized meat lovers when some cunt kicked down the front door. It was Johnny Rahuti, the big black Maori cunt from ac...oss the road. ‘What the fuck, can’t you knock on the door like a proper cunt?’ I yelled at him. You had to yell ’cause he used to be a Roadie for a thrash band and his hearin’s shit. ‘I did knock, how the fuck did I know that the fucking door would fall off?’ ‘Bazza, youse was s’posed to fix that fuckin’ door, wot ‘appened?’ I asked him. ‘I was. And the Comte had a boy child, living evidence of my perfidy, as the basis for his accusation.“Lead on,” I told the pageboy, trying to be agréable and to appear as fearless as possible. Therefore I walked briskly with my head held high to my doom.As we approached our destination, I realized that the situation was even worse than I had imagined.There was the Comte and the child in his perambulator surrounded by King Louis, her Royal Highness the Queen, her contingent of Spanish. More

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