My mom looked at me strangely. "Just open it already," she said.My heart pounded as I ripped the envelope open. I took the report card out and slowly ...pened it.I looked at my grades. "God Dammit!" 89 in physics. I slammed the report card down on the table. You have got to be k**ding me!"My mom picked my report card up off the table and looked at it. She read through it and then looked back at me. "One B+, huh?" she said trying not to smile."I know," I said, putting my head in my hands."Look,". " "Is that true? Is that how she died? Doing that obscene, unnatural act? Crushed because of a broken harness? What are you doing now?" "What are you doing now, Empress! The Empress is removing her panties and checking beneath her skirts for midgets, dwarves, people of restricted growth or whatever the correct phrasing is." "I think they're referred to as little people nowadays. Why are you looking for little people beneath your skirt?" "Empress! I won't tell you again Prince whoever you are.". More

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