I have yet to share the truth with anyone, even Emma, with whom I have grown closer to than anyone else in my life. It tears at me, keeping secrets, h...re, where we have torn down the walls separating us. I feel apart suddenly, and it is not a feeling I find comfortable. Before, I would leave the thoughts within these pages for all too see. Now, I hide my journal, unwilling to share and guarding my feelings jealously, wishing I could simply slip away and return to my alien lover and revel in the. We had seven drivers and 18 wagons, counting the chuck wagon, and that meant that the four service wagons could be hooked behind freight wagons. That way, by rearranging loads, we could get all of the wounded into wagons. Cookie, obviously, the cook, was very good at treating broken bones and cuts, but he was no surgeon.One man was carrying a bullet in his gut, and there was no way to help him except to fill him with laudanum and wait for him to die. He knew his situation as well as did. More

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