I thought there was something wrong with me that I needed to have so many men, needed to get laid so often. Not really serious, you know, but wonderin.... Then, the first night I went out with Steve, I ended up fucking him and two other guys almost all night. Well, the next day I felt wonderful — until I started to think about it all. Then, I got really upset. I didn't know how to deal with it."What were you upset about?' Bev asked, "I mean, what were you thinking, exactly?'"I kept saying to. I curled up into a ball facing away from my husband and stared into the shadows of our bedroom. Perhaps Jackie had been right - Darren was a disgusting man... but he is all I got. That is probably part of the reason she wanted to win him to her 'side'.The next morning, before going to work - Darren had ordered me to leave our daughter's diary alone. Of course I begrudgingly agreed - else it would turn into a big fight. But I could not stop reading it - I felt that it was my only strength at the. More

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