Is he bi? These days you never know. His apartment was very clean and well decorated. I guess if you go by gay stereotypes he fits the profile, but s...metimes you really need something to confirm it. He lit some candles and poured some whine for the both of us. Charming. Maybe too charming. It makes me wonder what he expects of me. " have you ever been in a relationship with a man?" he asked. The truth would have been aside from occasional fucks in a tour bus or four ways with some college kids. I did. My fears must be real in order to be faced. Is this real? It's as close as I can get, and I am thankful for it.Somewhere in the blackness I see, there are memory clips, moments out of time, my moments of anguish. I see a pickup truck pulling out of a driveway, boxes stacked in any empty house, a house that had been a home but is no longer. The home that was is in the boxes. My mother is crying, the sound of her quiet sobbing forms the soundtrack of my life.I will not cry, for my Master. More

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