. a hundred yards before we gave up for the day.“Why didn’t you tell me that running was so hard?” she whined. I rolled my eyes skywards and sil...ntly prayed for the whole thing to be over.Another expected result was that in her exhaustion, Heather would need to eat. Heather ate five triple Whoppers from our neighborhood Burger King. An unexpected consequence of the expected result was that Heather actually gained weight from running.She got on the internet and swore that her weight gain was not. The story was she once was given one of those Swiss-army vibrators with more attachments than reason would allow. With a group of friends, she tested all the device's joy settings, came twenty times in sixteen minutes before the vibrator called it quits. The Little Sex-toy that Couldn't is hung today over her desk, mounted like a prize bass on a plaque inscribed, “R.I.P. Friend. It was a pleasure to know you.'” "Gracias, this will be fun," I muttered as I scrawled my name on the receipt and. More

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