That's painful. The cacophony of emotions begins to make a little more sense to me. There's that quivering strand of confusion running through it all ... betrayal. The absolute, fundamental, world-inverting betrayal you only get when you are deceived by that which you relied upon most. Its a gut-wrenching, sickening feeling that makes me nauseous. Not nauseous enough to counteract my own sick feeling of arousal though, dammit. Shit, I can feel bile in the back of my throat and its not just the. He just thrust over and over with abandon into my face until he achieved his desired result, orgasm. I remember the determination and maybe even anger in his voice telling me Id better swallow every drop. Im not saying it was always like that but the first time that happened I think I started to understand the primal sexual need people can have. I find it very difficult to express to you my discomfort with receiving oral. Its hard to explain but I struggle immensely with how vulnerable I feel. More

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