The mom asks, “Why on earth do you need that?”The little boy replies, “isn’t that what you give daddy when HIS shit won’t get hard?!”This ...ompliments of Mario MComplaints to wife and replyTo My Dearest Wife,During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn’t succeed more often:We will wake the kids - 54 timesIt’s too late - 15 timesI’m too tired - 42 timesIt’s too. "I got to go, good luck," he said, hanging up on me.I pondered how to tell her the news when a plan suddenly popped into my head. A plan so, so, so wrong, I knew it was so, so, so right. I already knew what his costume was to be because Wendy hadn't stopped talking about it for two months; I also knew it was here because she didn't trust him to remember to bring it with him; it also was a costume that would hide the identity of the person wearing it and also distort his voice. It was perfect. I. More

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