We started with coffee and small talk, I was very shy and nervous but he was very easy to get along with, during our coffee he asked about my list of ...ll the sexual kinks that I was interested in which made both of us really horny, alot of things I said maybe to or willing to try was thinks like water sports or rimming to even ass to mouth.He started off with watching some porn on his laptop at his computer desk, we sat side by side and I was so quiet and kept thinking if I was doing the right. If I had, you’d still be here, fighting. Then I wouldn’t have this huge ache inside. I recognize these thoughts as foolish, and I brush them aside. I focus on better, positive thoughts. On healthier imaginings. The other part of me is happy you no longer suffer. I couldn’t stand to hear you talk about the pain. It made me feel helpless, the simple words I had to offer seeming insignificant and paltry. The ache is eased simply knowing your pain is forever gone. I smile thinking of you. More

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