Sleep was out of the question because my thoughts were in a turmoil. Big Al had hurt me, embarrassed me and insulted my masculinity, yet, I had respon...ed to him to a degree. There were parts of our encounter that had excited me. Maybe Peggy was right or maybe the estrogen had just changed me so much. I didn't have the answer and sometime during the early morning I fell asleep. I awoke the next morning with Peggy shaking my shoulder. "How do you feel," she asked. "Sore," I answered. "You look. I join him a few minutes later. I shampoo and shave while Nick is doing the same. "What's on your mind sweetie?" he asks. I wish I could tell him. Why do I not trust telling him about my fantasies? I wish I could tell him how turned on I was last night when he pulled and kept my hands behind my back. "What is the wildest sex you ever had?" I ask without even thinking. Nick looks at me with shock. "Is that what has been on your mind lately?" he asks. "Sort of." I answer. "Well?" "Okay I did it. More

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