Thank you for your attention. Stay safe, America"The figure rolls their eyes again and sighs. "Sure...It is New Years, not April's fools". The TV scre...n flickers again and the B-movie that was rolling before continued. The figure didn't pay much attention to it before, nor did they now. With pleased moans they devour the pizza and an entire bottle of coke before falling asleep on the couch.As the figure wakes up again, the TV screen shows the President with a concerned look. "Dear Citizens of. ’ ‘Thanks, Mike,’ I said as I downed the vodka-infused mixture. About 10 minutes later I staggered to my feet. ‘Oh, man. I don’t feel so good.’ I wobbled towards the door. ‘I may need some air.’ **** The pounding on the front door eventually woke me. ‘Uggggh,’ I groaned. I had the worst hangover of my life. I was back in my own apartment, although I had no idea how. I shuffled over to the door. ‘Go away. I’m not interested in what you’re selling.’ ‘We’re not selling anything!’ snapped a voice. More

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