Not caring. A passivity, not inspiredby restfulness or a desire to recharge, but simply from a lack ofemotional involvement. And when you had been fri...nds with a woman as longas I had been friends with Colleen, to have that person just graduallydisengage from you of their own free will, well, that's one of the mostawful things that can happen to someone, I think. I had invested a lot inour friendship. Yes, our *friendship*... unfortunately, I was not Colleen's boyfriend, asmuch as I would have. I knew he jacked off in the shower and to porn, and I sneaked away into the bathroom to use my egg in the middle of the night. It wasnt that we werent sexual people. At least on my part I thought about sex all the time, and before we were married, I sure wasnt a prude. We thought it better not to talk about our pasts, and perhaps it was thinking we were both so pure that made the sex so bland and unexciting. We hadnt given up on having a child when Shannon came into the picture. We had just. More

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