”Husband texts back;“Gently pour some lukewarm water over it.”Wife texts back 5 minutes later;“Computer really fucked now.”A Greek and Itali...n were sitting in a Starbuck’s one day discussing who had the superior culture.Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, “Well, we have the Parthenon.”Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, “We have the Coliseum.”The Greek retorts, “We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics”The Italian, nodding agreement, says, “But we built the Roman Empire.”And so on. His breathing was careful and measured. Though he did not know why he was being so cautious.You can't possibly sneak up on a vampire dummy, he mentally chided himself.He peeked out around the doorway slowly, mostly because his neck still ached whenever he tried to turn it, and looked into the next room. His eyes widened at what he saw.The room was a large dining hall. In the center of the room was a long table d****d in frayed cloth. There were ten oak chairs on each side of the table. Unlit. More

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