My guess is the failure to get closer to Ryan was draining the energyout of her, much like my lack of rescue was draining it out of me.She had been cu...ting herself. I wondered if the knife I found in hercase had been the one she had used?The cutting... I had read before that it wasn't about suicide; it was acontrol thing. When things were spiraling out of control, pain becamethe only thing that could be controlled.At this point, I had picked up the knife, looking it over, holding itto my. ‘But guys do it all the time and who cares about mixed signals. Guys only care about that stuff if they don’t get laid. If they do they’re happy no matter what.’“But what about me,” she said with a sigh. ‘Why, what difference does it make, and what do I actually feel about him. He’s kind of dumb and completely not interested in anything I do. Plus he’s super hippy. I could never trust him with my secret identity.’Her indecision turned to a twisting gnaw in her gut as she stared at the phone and. More

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