I liked being "escorted"by the right kind of guy. I liked being "adored" and treated like a lady.I also found that I reacted to men who were tender, f...n and trustworthy.The first sincere kiss I got from a man changed everything in my oddfeminine world. I found myself reacting to a man like a woman. That kisscaused me to be flush with lust and desire in a feminine way. I soon hadto deal with my confusions about these feelings over time.Just after my 18th birthday I finally accepted a real date. The big soldier who took me first was there with a pistol in hand. He smiled a broad, putrid smile, clapped the boy on the shoulder, and made some leering remark. The soldier raised the pistol, pointing it to my face. I sat there motionless, staring into my executioner’s eyes, feeling an unreal detachment and merely curious as to why I wasn’t screaming, or begging for my life. But the boy tugged at the soldier’s coat, and said something while grabbing at his own crotch. There was a forced tone. More

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