I suspectedthat he might have a sadomasochistic side to him but never realized that it was as overwhelming as it turned out to be. Our first encounter... which I've revealed in earlier writings, was rather harsh and degrading. You might even consider it brutal. The demeanor of this first encounter was an attempt by Rene to establish the fact that I was to be totally subservient to him and to remind me that I was just a whore. At that first encounter I was subjected to two beatings along with a. Then came the self-mutilation. Her Dad would never talk about that or the violence that followed. When Amira would visit her Mother in the institution up state, under the cold florescent lights she could still see the streaks of scars that lined her skin like maps of the past. ‘When you die, die standing,’ was the last coherent thing her Mother said that made sense. I’m not going insane I’m not going insane… I just… I drank too much last week… Amira made it to the edge of campus but her. More

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