Let’s start with the story arc. I think you could begin with something more dramatic that draws the reader into the story more rapidly. It’s the t...ird page before we have a clue that they are boarding a spaceship. Lead with it. Even a simple a sentence of thought from the main character that said, ‘I took one last look at the earth before I boarded for my journey to the stars.’ Something that immediately sets the scene. Then you can deal with the weight of his baggage, the nods to people he. . unlike the political correctness of today. But political correctness has no place in modern day slave trading. This slave trading complex easily existed and continued to operate under British supervision through out the 19th and 20th centurys. Most Europeans especially those that lived in the British commonwealth had no idea that such a place like this even existed! It was only after the second world war when India was grated independence that the British relinquished control of the country. More

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