The steady stream pours over my body, washing away any remaining vestiges of the night. I eagerly rub shampoo into my long hair and spread my favorite...body wash over my skin, scrubbing myself clean. After rinsing, I enjoy a good soak before I turn the water off and grab a towel, running it firmly over my arms, legs, chest and back. The normally soft fibers seem rough on my sensitive skin, but I enjoy it. I wrap the towel around my head and finish my morning bathroom routine of make-up, hair and. Mister Gordon Bastard!”On cue, from a door at the side of the room a man dressed in a double-breasted white chef's jacket and silly blue and white checked baggy trousers ran out and theatrically leapt onto the dais to much applause from the audience. He attempted to speak into the microphone but Camshaft hastily snatched it away before his words became audible. Dave spoke hurriedly “Thank you, Mr Bastard, I understand that when all is present and correct in the kitchen you will be joining. More

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