I’ve got good news. My doctor submitted her approval for the first SRS (sexual reassignment surgery). Since I'm not responding very well to HRT I'll...be castrated so that my breasts will hopefully respond. I'm thinking of trying to have it done online. I think I would be able to get a lot of people to watch and pay $100. to watch. I know that this is kind of long but I’ve been writing it for a few days now, and it is as much for me to kind of work things out in my head. I hope you don’t mind me. God, it began, I can't believe what I saw!My hands were shaking so hard the diary fell to the table. I stared at it as though it was a live grenade. In fact, I felt pretty much the same way I'd felt back in basic training when we'd done live grenade practice. That afternoon my hands were sweating so bad I could barely hang on to the thing, much less throw it. I was practically pissing in my pants at the time so it wasn't until afterwards that I felt sorry for the training NCO assigned to show. More

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