The only Presidents we’ve had are George Bush and me.”“No, I mean, yes, you know what I mean!”“Frank, Teddy Roosevelt had a mustache, and th...t was in the 20th Century,” I told him.“Really? We’re going back to Teddy Roosevelt?” he exclaimed.“Nice mustache, Frank, big and bushy.”“You’re not helping me here, Mister President!” He looked over at Marilyn. “Did you know about this plan?”Marilyn laughed. “Frank, I’ve seen him with a beard and mustache. He had one through most of the Eighties, before. Just your average unemployed no good slacker climbing the social ladder in the wrong direction-kind of guy.In your pastime (which is pretty much all of your time awake) you indulge in pot smoking, all night video gaming, interactive erotic stories online and a rampant addiction to masturbation.Your looks, height, weight, IQ, cognitive skills, sense of fashion and haircut are all average. At best. Your only real trait, besides knowing every singe line from Caddyshack, is your cock. Yes, you are. More

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