Except, I always took comfort in the idea that they weren't really rejecting me, because they didn't really know the 'real' me. They were rejecting my...version of 'the boyfriend'.I was slowly realizing, that playing the boyfriend was a dead end, had always been a dead end, and if I ever wanted something like long-term happiness I'd have to be honest with them and myself. I'd have to learn how to be myself, which was a weird thought. I wonder if I could practice somehow. Maybe go out to bars and. I dusted my cheekswith a little blush, outlined my lips with lip pencil, and then finallyapplied a generous coating of my "standby" lipstick--a rich red calledCaprice by Lancome. I went back in to the bedroom and looked at theclock--I had just 8 minutes to finish.I pushed the ottoman away from the chair, moving it more to the middle ofthe open area in my room. I grabbed the Anal Twist and the lube andknelt on the opposite side of the ottoman. The Anal Twist was an 11 1/2-inch long non-realistic. More

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