I lay in bed and think about life. The way it is and the way it could have been. Those hours between 3 and when I have to get up at 7am are spent cont...mplating my life. The good and bad and how it could be better. They are comfortable hours. This morning tho they were hell. I remembered that Ricky is gone and that my marriage is over. I remembered that Ricky and my marriage were all I had. I have no children. I have a few friends, but Ricky and my wife Maria were my best friends. Now I’m alone.. After she had beenon hormones for seven months and living as a woman for about fivemonths, she realized that she had been idly assessing men. She was moreinclined to look at men than women. After another month she had herfirst date with a man. She could pass quite successfully and was quitepresentable. They had ended up going dancing and at the end of the datehe had kissed her. She had been shocked at first but found it to be anexciting awakening experience. From that time on she thought more. More

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