Ididn't take rejection well and every time I was turned down by a girl ithit my self confidence a little more. The truth was I secretly enviedgirls, t...ey had all the power, they were beautiful and caring, and thehot ones could get away with anything just by batting their eyes. Therewere times I thought how much easier life would be if I were a hot girl,but I just brushed that off as curiosity. In my senior year of college Ihad a thing for one of my friends, Tiffany, pretty badly, she was. Listen to her breathing, wait for her to ‘fall asleep,’ or just fall asleep. Maybe, fuck it, maybe sleeping Molly was the one with the crush on me. I didn’t know. I didn’t know…Wham. Guilt. You know what I just did, I thought to myself… I just used Molly’s anxiety against her. I knew she’d be too anxious to use the couch on night two. I knew that, and used it to get her in bed with me. Here was the biggest What If of all… what if none of this was actually Molly wanting me, and I was the biggest. More

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