Wife texts husband on a beautiful day after a fruit picking weekend: "Apples driving me nuts, what to do."Husband texts back: "put in cider maker and ...rank up the pressure."Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer gone flat now."These are compliments Bill LBritish humor as it used to be: absolutely politically incorrect.It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloreds from. About four in the morning I woke up from drunken stupor noticed that I was alone in the room and started stumbling around the basement. Searching frantically for the bathroom. Once found I did my business and washed my hands, I started searching house for signs of life. When I found the TV room Tyler was there in his shorts sleeping on the edge of the couch. Went upstairs found the kids sleeping in their rooms, Jessica sleeping in her room. I got a glass of water and found my way back to the. More

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