"She was right, now that I thought of it. Having Charlotte dye her hair for all the scenes where she was the aggressive slut character was perhaps a l...ttle too blunt."The last thing we want to do is imply that the audience is stupid. It'll be way more powerful if they suddenly 'get it' on their own." Right!" I said slowly, suddenly getting it on my own."And this part here, where you're filling in the back story in dialog? Don't do that. It's really unrealistic for Fiona to be talking like a. I only took some of what’s mine.”Jim stepped back and said, “Tim?”About then more people showed up, a couple with lanterns, and they could see it was a very dirty and disheveled Tim standing in front of them looking sullen.”Jim said, “Why did you think you had to sneak in and take things in the middle of the night? Couldn’t you have just came to us in the daylight? We’re going to head to our new place this morning. The clerk at the land office wouldn’t let us file for your place. You’ll have to. More

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