I have little braille labels sewn into my suits and ties so that I can avoid looking like ‘Andy the Clown’ when I put my duds on. Having cleaned u... and dressed, I touched the face of my watch to check the time. At 7:45 I headed down to the lobby. Just before leaving the room I unfolded the cane and used it to get to the elevator bank. The cane is a dead giveaway, saying, ‘careful, cripple here.’ I hate that, but one must survive. I suppose there are worse things, like having no legs. But this. ’ ‘Er …’ ‘I’ve got to say, though, there are two conditions.’ ‘What are they?’ Ha! I had her. ‘First, it’s got to be a thin dildo. I can’t do large things up there.’ ‘You should borrow Nat. Sorry, didn’t say that. A thin dildo is fine.’ ‘Has he got a small cock?’ ‘No, it’s dead normal. Just my boyfriend before him had an enormous one, and the thought crept out. Ignore it, please.’ ‘The second is weirder. You know I said threesomes? Well, yes, we’ve done them, and no that’s not what I’m. More

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