I was shocked, this is my friend, I thought, what the fuck is happening to me. I was kind of excited though, I thought about how muscular Jim was and ...ow he could fight anyone off. Then I knew that nothing could ever happen between us. He was straight as a needle. I got up and saw that it was midnight. It was Friday though, so I could sleep in. I went to my computer and I search –penis-. I wanted to imagine what Jim’s looked like.I saw so many, then I searched –gay-. I got a lot of results. I. How wrong could I have possibly been? I should face this fear head on, a strategy that had always worked in the past. A sigh escaped me, a sigh that told a story of my weariness and reluctance in the face of another fight. The problem was this fear went deeper than the others. ‘Trust is a tall order. I’m not sure I can do that.’ He was still holding onto me. I thought he would give up in defeat after that, I should have known better. ‘I know there are a lot of walls that I need to break down.. More

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