Then there’s light and the shower is still running. I leave it on even though the water bill is too high to pay. I like the sound of the water rushi...g over me. Let the water pour. Clean and hot and desensitizing, destroying prints and calluses, burning away bacteria, boiling needles to the surface of my skin. Mindless, hopeless activity. I sit in the shower without forgiven and need and lust and longing. The scars will never vanish. Never fade completely. But remind me of the torture of trust,. I promise.Cindy is 5 years my junior, and she is a licensed beautician. We have been friends, living in the same neighborhood, about 5 houses apart. Her sister and I went to school together, but we never got along. Cindy has always been kind of shy. Growing up she was a willowy strawberry blond, always thin, flat chested and wasn't much to look at, but she was always fun to be around. She was in middle school when I was in High School so I only saw her in the neighborhood when we weren't at. More

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