I feel like I’m going through the motions, and that means my customer isn’t getting his money’s worth. Well we do seem to be making the same pro...ress as we were before last weekend. And he seems to be happy. So perhaps this is one of those jobs where going through the motions is enough. Dee Dee and I always talk in the evenings. We need each other. I tell her how my job is going and vice versa. We share what secrets we have to share – none too many since we are like two sides of the same coin.. Was it daytime? Or was it night? I had lost track hours and hours and hours ago. For moments I sat there as my face was soaked. I no longer felt the cold of it, only a blessed numbness. I turned my face slowly away and opened my eyes. Around the room lay remnants of my life, things that had meant something to me once, things that lay as dead and lifeless as I felt. My flute lay on the floor, sheet music scattered all around. The memories haunted me. Images of my playing, my total surrender to. More

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