Go then.' I said petulantly, 'I'm sure the woolshed will still be open.' (The woolshed being a shithole club just out of the city that you were guaran...eed to score a root with a backpacker at, but not guaranteed to be able to take a piss without a burning sensation in the morning)'Alright.' She kissed me again. 'Don't forget to use a condom or you won't be getting into my snatch until you've been checked out.''You make my head hurt, you know that, right?''And you make my nipples hard.' She. Middle-aged. Pale. Overweight. Ugly. Lonely. Depressed.*We'd got chatting in a bar after I'd accidentally trodden on her toe – both drunk but she more drunk than me – and admitted towards the end of the evening she'd had a rough time when she had been younger, hinted at abuse.Damaged and vulnerable, I'd concluded as I'd given her my mobile number - my kind of female.I'd met her the next day for a coffee in town and she'd been uglier than I'd recalled: beady little brown eyes too close together. More

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