Sometimes, though, after a few drinks he gets a tad cynical. Especially on the tenth day of the month, when the alimony check to his ex-wife comes due...Now me, I've managed to avoid marriage. At 40, I'm the neighborhood's confirmed bachelor, and the local eligible gals have long since given up on me. I hardly even go out on dates any more. Everyone suspects there's something wrong with me. Maybe there is.You see, I've found a substitute for women. For real-life women, that is. I dream.As a horny. I said, “Whatever you do feels good. I guess we’re going to find out about my prostate, huh?” She smiled wide, removed her fingers and said, “Let’s fill up our drinks and go to the bedroom.” I replied, “Yeah, I think I’m going to need another drink!”I could tell that Maria had given this some thought. She put a towel on the bed and told me to put my ass on it in case we made a mess. She opened the drawer to her nightstand and pulled out a tube of KY Jelly. “This,” she said, “Is a must have. It. More

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