”The blonde says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.”The blonde died.There’s a new kind of coffee that acts as a strong laxative.It’s called G.I. J...eHow do two cats make love?The male cat goes to the female cat and says ‘naaaoooouuuw’.And the female cat responds by saying, ‘not naaaoooouuuw’.If you rob a bank in a sanctuary city, is it “illegal”, or just an “undocumented withdrawal”?What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and ET?ET learned to speak English and wanted to go home... A liberal. Lord it makes me dizzy just in the telling.So here it is, Saturday afternoon, the wife's in the bedroom reading the little guy a story. I have a bit of religion on my brain. I'm praying like a crazy man let's all nap now, please! Oh, but I fully expect to break with the faith yet again within the hour. I'm a pragmatic guy. If miracles don't happen, forget it!If nothing else, I say to myself, here's that chance for the shower you've been pining for since yesterday morning. I know, I know, it's a. More

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