I was working when it happened, and I had totally lost track of time. I immediately excused myself to take a break and went back to the bathroom. I im...ediately checked my voicemail. She had left me a four minute long recording! I hit play and listened intently. She had the voice of a professional phone sex worker. I was practically salivating..."Hey cutie-pie ... I'm naked in my bed and I'm soaking wet."I stopped the recording. I listened if there was anyone else in the bathroom with me. I was. I fear what temptations I would have, I could undo the separation. I could heal myself. Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is not. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve with the quiet coldness of ice, numbing my heart to what I have been part of, have seen. As tempting, in its own way, as the power I could open myself to. I choose. There really was not much of a choice, the decision made in an instant. I rein in my mind and flow, not. More

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