I wanted to undress for him again and feel his hands on me and his lips, and his tongue. That morning, instead of going to study hall, I went to see t...e school nurse. It was embarrassing, but I needed to get on the pill, and I had no clue about how to do that. I didn’t dare go to my doctor, and talking to my mother would just be another form of committing suicide. So I blushed and I stuttered and I finally explained to the nurse that I had become sexually active and I needed to get on some form. She would catch the first train thenext morning and put this glorious adventure behind her.3It was only really visible by comparison just how close to breaking pointBurt had been; to crumbling into the dirt with his arms wrapped round hishead, gibbering helplessly in terror at the horror of his predicament.This defence mechanism - forcing his bewildered mind to not only acceptbut to crave the continuation of what was happening to him - was the onlything that was keeping him functioning. And. More

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