I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, my 13 grand kids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me ...n the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this. I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.The kids bought me a GPS. Yes, I'm the former Snidely Whiplash but I've reformed. You see, during my last stint in jail, I went to counseling. They made me realize that my anti social behavior was caused by my rage at my being born a woman but stuck in the body of a man. Therefore, I've decided to live the rest of my life as a woman, or as best I can. My former life of murder, mayhem and destruction is behind me. My dearest friend and confidant, Nell Fenwick, has consented to teach me my femininity." I don't believe a. More

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