”Grinning, I told her, “We don’t have milk. I used hot water.”“Jeez Louise, Gramps! This camping thing isn’t as much fun as you made it ou... to be!”Pointing, I told her, “I promised a view. There it is.”Still grumpy from disillusionment, she announced, “I’ve seen it. Can we go home now?”“Then you’ll miss canned baked beans for lunch and reconstituted Beef Stroganoff for dinner and sex in the open.”“I don’t care. I don’t want baked beans and ... Did you say sex in the open?” Her eyes lit. We maintained eye contact for a while, staring each other down as I granted my tongue an especially saucy forkful. “I don’t know what the fuck she’s talking about,” Dad ranted, shaking the newspaper. “Don, language!” Mum always wanted to make a good impression in front of the guests. “Sorry, Alex, I bet your family is far less crude around the breakfast table.”“It’s fine,” he shrugged. “We’re not exactly the best behaved either.”Certainly not, I thought, smiling at his foot rubbing my crotch. More

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