Also, in mymind the ideal girl was one just like Beth, and I couldnever find a girl that measured up to her standards. Wemay have no longer been close...to each other, but Bethwas still very much in my mind. In my pleasurefantasies, it was still Beth I pictured. She was mystandard for female perfection and was the subject ofall my masturbatory dreams. I continued to keep a big-as- life picture in my mind of how she would havelooked if I had been able to see her drop that towelthose years. We remained silent for the rest of the drive home.Everyone was asleep when we got home and I went straight to bed. I didn't even shower as I was too exhausted. I didn't like going to sleep with the scent of those bastards who pay to fuck me, but tonight I didn't care. I needed to sleep.I slept until ten and was awakened by momma brushing the hair from my face. Slowly my eyes opened to see her smiling down at me. I returned the gesture, taking her hand from my face to hold it."Good morning," she. More

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