I let the memory go even as the current turned me towards the shore and I figured it was a sign to go back in. As I looked back at the beach I notice... a Mercedes minivan was pulled up by the picnic area so I assumed I’d see another late season surfer paddle out as I was going in. I paddled back but saw no one around and figured it must be some hikers, long gone up one of the trails heading back over the headland. I dumped my board on the grass and stood, staring out to sea getting my breath. He knew that getting a sexual kick out of it might downplay what Iwould be going through if I did transition. I assured him it did not.That me being feminine was part of what attracted him to me, so megoing through the steps to show it should have that effect on him.This did lead to us talking about Christmas. He wants to exchangegifts with me on Christmas Eve and I agreed. I think it would be bestfor us to do so on the day before being with family. It would makeour time to celebrate that. More

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