I drank a large bottle of water. I went into the bathroom and completely filled the tub and turned on the jets as high as I could get them. I threw up...in the toilet before I got in the tub. So much for food. The thought of just drowning myself occurred to me.I didn’t do anything that anyone didn’t want to do. I didn’t do anything my lovers hadn’t told me I could do. I didn’t do anything wrong. Why the hell did I feel so ashamed?I had my ears underwater, blocking out everything. Only my nose and. It’s amazing how just the simplest things such as how someone smells or taste can have a huge impact on physical attraction. I had committed several days and was worried about what would happen if we didn’t physically connect. As a side note, a few years later, I experienced another out of state visit with a gal which fell apart as soon as I arrived. So my apprehension was not unfounded. As soon as I landed, I called her cell and told her I had arrived. So told me she was waiting outside at. More

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