He’s getting dumped tonight. That’s gotta suck.” A pause, then, “Hey, listen… um… what’s the deal with all of the hairbrushes? It’s ki...d of creepy.”“Oh, that. My boy Chris has a spanking fetish. Never acted on it, but man is he prepared if he ever gets the chance.”“He likes to be spanked? Are you sure he’s not gay?”“No! No! He wants to do the spanking. And definitely on a woman’s ass. Trust me. He’s just never had the chance.”“Good to know,” Carol said, smiling. As soon as Randy wasn’t looking,. Radio? Check. Emergency rations? Check. And so it went until we had checked each of the vehicle’s systems.Satisfied our pre-trip checklist was complete, Alice took her place behind the wheel. I climbed in next to her and rode shotgun, and we sped down the tunnel toward the exit. Our Kawasaki Mule abruptly decelerated the moment we hit daylight.“Why so slow? I can walk faster than this,” I said to Alice.“This is our exit protocol. We reduce speed when crossing the meadow to minimize damage to. More

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