A couple of hours later, I noticed that as I watched my compass, we seemed to be avoiding a generally large area of forest off to our west. When I ask...d about it, the conversation got a bit hard to understand."Hey. Why not go that way?" I asked Farts, whose name was actually ListensToWind, but whatever."No, GreatOne. You do not want to go that way. Look, over there ... probably auroch."He'd just done the caveman equivalent of yelling. "Look, Shiney!" But, I didn't bite."Yes, but what's over. I'd never gone seven straight days in a relationship before without getting laid.Nine days into the tournament and still no sex. Not even oral. Nothing remotely approaching a sexual act. I didn't count the peck on the lips I got as he rushed off to work, or the slightly-longer-but-not-by-much kiss I got before going to bed.Day ten dawned and I knew I had to take matters into my own hands, so to speak. The batteries in my vibrator were little more than a month old and already they were starting. More

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