She fired off a text to a friend of hers to let her know that she might be a few minutes late to do her hair because of a fender-bender down near Main...Street and then dropped her smartphone in her purse. “Alright, let’s get this over with,” she muttered to herself, obviously not in the best of moods, as she got out, locked up her car, and came up the back steps.As was typical, the funeral home had sent her some photos of the body (nothing indecent, of course, for legal reasons) as well as basic. I had been there a couple times and it had decent fried foods, but staying around to get drunk there would take the little money my ex-wife had left in my pocket. I walked in, sat down a table and pulled out my phone to check my email. The waitress had not even gotten to the table when this young thing, probably barely old enough to even be in the bar, sat down across from me and said, “My friends bet me $20 a piece that I would not blow you in the ladies room. It has to be you and it has to be. More

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