Maybe I’m just used to my features. I don’t know, but one man described me as a young Paul Newman, which in my mind was an amazing compliment; he�...�s always been my biggest old Hollywood heartthrob.Yet despite all the work I put into making my profiles the best they could be, whenever my conversations with guys turned toward meeting up, I would chicken out. I knew I wanted to be with a man, but there’s a big difference between fantasy and reality. Reality has dangers, people with bad intentions,. ..”“Understand me? Know me?”He nodded, “Yes, that's it.”I stood up, “Now you never will.”I walked out slowly. I wanted him to watch me. It was petty, but I wanted to think that he would regret his lost chance. I walked out, not feeling triumphant, but sad. I got him to notice me, but now I wouldn't get more looks from him. A lot of what if's went through my mind; a relationship, bondage, letting myself be me, to spend nights in someone else's bondage, not my own.I was confusing myself. Angry. More

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