Toothpaste tube? Too weird. The old shampoo bottle would have been good but this one has wide shoulders. I go into the kitchen and immediately spot th... bananas in the fruit bowl. I almost laugh at the perfection of them. So many women must have done what I’m about to do. I pick the biggest one and separate it from the bunch and return to the bedroom. Opening my bedside cabinet, I fumble for the condom and stretch it over the banana, trapping any nasties inside. The banana looks surprisingly. I was sweating by the time I got home and feeling a little bit worse for wear and the house was like a hotbed, I stripped off my shirt and shorts and put them in the washer and was thinking of taking a cold shower but ended up crashing out full length and naked on the sofa.I was dozing in and out of consciousness and completely lost track of the time and I heard Meghan come home so pretended to be in a deep sleep although I don’t think I was too far away from that and when I heard some giggling. More

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