But never where someone I knew would find out, except for Emily andEthan, and they seemed okay with it. At first it was embarrassing, because I didn't...want to do it. I wouldn'thave done it if Mary and my mom hadn't insisted that I give it a chanceto see if I would be happier that way. Over time I started to feeldifferently about it. The feelings scared me. I was supposed to be a boy, right?I tried to suppress the feelings. I kept telling people that I didn'twant to be a girl. But the truth was,. I put on skin-colored pantyhose. I put on the girdle that narrowed my waist and formed hips. I put on a bra and a cream body, dental floss. I put on a short skirt, schoolgirl or Scottish type. I put on a short vest, sleeveless, black and made of leather. I combed my long, straight black hair, made up with delicate shades and red lips, I colored earrings and jewels, I put on silver studs. I looked in the mirror and I don't remember what I thought, but surely I said something like: shit you look. More

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