”I went up to this really cute homeless girl and asked if I could take her home. She looked ecstatic until I picked up her box and started walking a...ay.Flying home from France on a recent trip I noticed a rather haggard looking mum walking into the customs area with eight children all under age 10. Collecting their many suitcases, the nine of them entered the cramped customs area.A young customs official watched the large entourage in disbelief, “Ma’am,” he said, “do all these children and this. I have even winced as I watched a woman squeeze an orange from her chuff, granted it was a Satsuma but still…it looked like she was straining a bit! (And truth be told she was a bit old and if she had squeezed anymore her fanny might have fallen out!) The beer bottle has also cropped up in conversation so has a hairbrush handle (wink wink) and the aforementioned cucumber scenario. I’ve seen mobile phones going in there and gear sticks and even television remote controls but come on…who the fuck. More

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