I have enough trouble feeling sorry for myself. I enjoy self-pity at any rate, for it has a cathartic effect. It allows me to cry without anyone seein... me. It allows me to understand my problems by myself without anyone helping me. I am learning how to help myself. I do not need others to advise me on my many problems. My goal in life is to make sure these problems do not harm other people.I must reach out, as Karen has suggested. She feels scared, and I guess with all women, they do all the. We first met at a pub, with me partially cross dressed (female jeans, cb6000s, light make up, panties that showed when i was sitting, and carrying "our" purse) He was already there and we sat at the table, her beside him and me across. We had a few drinks then headed to pay, them arms around each other and me following with the (my) purse. I am sure the waitresses were wondering as her and i walked in together but they walked out like that and he payed his share of the tab but i had to dig. More

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