..she asks me if i feel guilty because of what we had done. i was honest and said a little but i explained it had always been one of my fantasies and ...ecause it came true i was delighted, she was relieved because she felt the same way too and then she says she had never been fucked like that before and she said she can't get it out of her mind, we are flirting away and she tells me we will have to do it again the next time we meet, i tell her the next time we meet will be the BBQ on Saturday. I look only at the screen as I write, because looking at my body reminds me that I am something more than the letters forming on the screen: Finger tips, clothing, a temperature to this body, and the itch on my left arm. These are the things that help make up for me. If I’m to be completely honest, there is a lump in my throat, and a tension to my core. These mediocre words are only forming the distraction from the things which I beg reality to release me from. I beg so hard that I even. More

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