We'd look back and laugh,one day, living together happily ever after.And not one of those happy days would pass without me questioningwhether I was tr...pped in a lie, a life that wasn't mine. I held myground and waited for him to respond."What are you saying?" His words were slow. "Jessie, you're scaring me."He was scared? I wished he could feel what I did. "I have no idea. Ireally fucking don't. I just know we shouldn't be together, shouldn't bethese people. I have... memories... that don't add. The house was too far away for me to get to. The remote haying was in full force now and most everyone was gone away.It’s odd how your psyche and body seemed to know if there was real trouble, possible demise, and a calm kind of comes over you. Fear of dying seems to relent to a kind of peace. I found that sense and I just laid there.Later in the afternoon Loon, the wife, walked into the bunk house with clean sheets as I lay still and she knelt down beside my bed. “What’s wrong --What has. More

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