He said: "That vehicle wasn't adequate to yourquestion. If you don't mind, I won't wear lipstick." His eyes weretwinkling at me and I nodded. He said:..."Do you want to meet someone to whom life is real?"I said that I would like that very much.He said: "Close your eyes and pay attention to your breath."I did. After a few minutes I seemed to swoon and I was in another place.A middle-aged Italian man was walking up and down in front of the room,pointing out the passages in books to several. I'm not sure why I won't say it,mostly it's because I'm not sure despite all the evidence. Despite sayingmy life would be so much better if I was a girl.I'm also scared what it means when I do say it. I feel like a bunch ofstuff is supposed to happen, like I'll be put on a road I'm not sure Iwant to go down. This feeling of once you label yourself trans, you can'treally go back from it.Now I'm coasting along in life, but I feel like this will always hold meback. Every day it's on my mind,. More

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